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About Deviant Artist Kenneth James GarciaMale/United States Recent Activity
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A slow return

Journal Entry: Mon May 21, 2012, 10:10 AM
Hello, to those who still check here.

I know i Fade back and forth into existence here, and here i am doing it again.

the last year has had one hell of  a effect on me. for the second time in my life i believe i had finally reached that point where i felt that i could say "this is the person i want by my side and i will do anything to stand by theirs" only to find that i was not wanted. i had finally gotten my trust and abandonment issues stable only to have them slammed back into me, finding the one i loved with another the day after i had waited to hold them in my arms again.

the result was more than i ever expected.

i had expected it to hit me hard because i always try so hard in my relationships and for those that have i have been able to put my heart into the rejection tears.

but i was not expecting what followed.

I lost that place, the one inside my head, the one where my art comes from. that world where i observed the inhabitants and drew them for this world to see. i had spent my whole life working on this world, planting every blade of grass, and laying every stone. to build a home with a place beside me.

now, i can no longer see it. the structures are ash and the inhabitants linger in the mists of churning soot and burnt land, and i can not see them.

among other things these last 2 years, i have been Diagnosed with Hashimotos Disease, where my body is attacking my thyroid. my parents have left and moved on so i no longer have that part of my family around. even though i was not living with them they were the ones that were there in my worst times and had never abandoned me.

i am now in a state of having many others who were one friends , leaving. some have said they have given up on me and others say they cant deal with how i have fallen from who i was and lastly those who said they don't want someone like me in their life anymore.

the problems with always feeling like people are going to get what they want from me and leave has only gotten stronger.

now on anti depressants, therapy and other medications i have stopped trying to commit suicide, and am slowly being able to talk to people again.

I no longer work for Field Of Corpses here in Colorado, though i still believe it was one of the happiest times of my life, my mind, heart and body cant take the tolls that came from being the Butcher for that long. for those who have never been, it is still one of the best Haunted houses in Colorado.

Due to the what has happened in my mind and body the main reason i wrote this blog was to say that as of December of this year i will no longer be going to school for drawing, i have found that it is too exhausting to do, to force the world that i cant see to this one has caused me to slip into deeper depression. the anger that has risen in place where there was once passion and love leave little for the positive reinforcement.

Drawing will soon no longer be what i do...

I try and hope that someday it will return but for now for the sake of not failing school and mental health i will not be doing it after Drawing IV.


i will be continuing my art education with the last Bastion of create i have been able to hold stable to.  Metalworking will be the next chapter of my life as i have been able to vent the feelings and emotions i have been dealing with through fire and the hammering of metal, the Destructive nature to ultimately create has been eh driving force that will allow me to continue on with out giving up on art all together and therefore dropping out of school and giving up on art as a major part of my life.


i will be loading the last of the drawings that i have had for those who wish to see them.


For those who Hope and dream for Love and the Battle that is Partnership in love and life. please don't stop Dreaming and don't stop fighting, for yourself and for those you love, and in a very small way fight and dream for those who have lost the drive and the heart to do the same.

  • Watching: locha libre
  • Eating: tokyo joes
  • Drinking: dew from the mountain

deviantID

CorvainGalleries's Profile Picture
CorvainGalleries
Kenneth James Garcia
Artist
United States
Current Residence:Westminister, Colorado
Favourite genre of music: rock or techno, trance
Favourite style of art: Battle Chasers- by MAD!
Shell of choice: Half shells - Turtal POWER!!
Wallpaper of choice: Vincent
Skin of choice: Leather
Favourite cartoon character: DeadPool
Personal Quote: It happeneds...
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:iconthetinsoldier:
TheTinSoldier Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
My old phone died, I have a new phone but your number isn't on it. You should text it so I can store it in my contacts. I have the same number that's on your phone. so Hopefully you get this and respond.
Reply
:iconluxiotheechidna:
LuxiotheEchidna Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
I was wondering if i can make a commission to make Hard Plastic Armor
Reply
:icontheroguez:
TheRoguez Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012   General Artist
hey, it was cool seeing you again at NDK :) hope you're doing well!
Reply
:iconshepaintswithblood:
ShePaintsWithBlood Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012   Traditional Artist
Hello, there!
I do not know if I ever got a chance to come visit your gallery and thank you again for the bookmaking stuff! I have already put them to use with wonderful results. Thank you so much again! Gorgeous work here as well, I absolutely love your metal works.:blackrose:
Reply
:iconcorvaingalleries:
CorvainGalleries Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
i am glad you were able to put them to good use and i would like to see what you were able to produce with some new techniques and tools. hope to see you and your work around more.
Reply
:iconrindalia:
Rindalia Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
Hello there. ^__^ Just checking back on that commission of my female troll shaman from NDK. Drop me a line when you get a chance.
Reply
:iconcorvaingalleries:
CorvainGalleries Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010
her pencils are done for the most part just finishing up some armor parts, do forgive me this semsester has been harder than i thought be assured when the semsester is over this will come along much faster
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:iconrindalia:
Rindalia Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
Oh I'm not in any big rush, just checkin up on it. ^___^
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:iconcorvaingalleries:
CorvainGalleries Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2010
just so you know i should have your linework up here in the next couple days so you can see if you like what it is so far
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondaneecastillo:
DaneeCastillo Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2010  Professional General Artist
Woot! yay I found you from NDK. I'm NativEye Creations. I'm close friends with angi.
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